Quotations are safe to use because if the quotation is not funny,
it doesn’t matter since you are just reciting it. You did not
write it. It can still be used to make your point. You can use
the power of the name of the person who did write it. People will
be more likely to laugh or at least chuckle if a famous person
made up the quotation.

If you are not sure to whom the quotation belongs, it does not
matter at all. Unless I am absolutely certain who said something,
I always give myself an out. I usually say I BELIEVE it was
____________ who said. This keeps me out of trouble for
attributing the quotation to the wrong person.

Sometimes I say, “My great, great grandpappy used to say,” or “my
old aunt Maude used to say.” However, if you know for sure who
said something and their name carries weight, go ahead and use
it. There are literally thousands and thousands of notable
quotations available to you. To give you some examples, I’ll
dedicate the speaker humor section below to quotations.

Academics and purists don’t read the next two paragraphs

(Now that they aren’t reading I can tell you about real world
stuff for the humorous speaker. The purists will claim I’m
committing some kind of mortal sin.)

Don’t feel bad about twisting the quotations to meet your
situation. Mark Twain will never say a word about it. Neither
will anyone else if you introduce your quotation by saying,
“Someone once said,” or “My great, great, grandpappy used to
say.” Then change the quotation around any way that suits you.

Attention Speakers: Learn To Make $5500 Every Time You Speak!

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