It’s 5:30 AM Eastern time. I’m the only one sitting here at the gate area at Cleveland-Hopkins International Airport for my 6:25 AM flight back to Norfolk. While I’m sitting here I had one reminder and one revelation.

The Reminder
As I sit here freezing to death after my brief shuttle ride from the
hotel I’m reminded that I broke my own rule of not going north for any reason in the
winter. Why I broke this rule, I really don’t know. I don’t like snow. I don’t like slush.
And I don’t like the cold. I must be getting senile.

The Revelation
Being the upbeat guy that I am I decided to see how I could turn this
situation into a positive. That’s when I came up with the revelation/idea that is
destined to change the world and is about as “green” as you can get.

My idea is for the United States to purchase the northern part of
Mexico. How much could it cost? A couple hundred billion or so? Who cares? Whatever the
price tag it will be worth it when you hear the rest of my idea.

After we make the purchase and attend the closing (this won’t cost much
because so many real estate attorney’s are hurting for business) we shift the entire
northern United States to the south. Can you imagine how much natural gas, oil, coal,
electricity and wood we would save? It would more than pay for the purchase.

Also, our population growth would stabilize because people would be able
spend way more time outside instead of accidentally spawning way too many kids in an
effort to keep warm using body heat.

I suggest you begin immediately contacting your local congressperson to
move this idea forward.


Note to speakers from Tom: Do you see how you can come up with
bizarre/memorable/funny material for your speeches just by forcing your mind to look for the
bright side of any situation. Oops. They’re boarding now. I’m heading south.

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