Tom Antion: Public Speaking Humor
=>What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.
=>Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID
that he just whipped out a quarter?
=>Daylight savings time – why are they saving it and where do
they keep it?
=>An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The
older she gets the more interested in her he is.
=>”Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.”
–Popular Mechanics, 1949
=>”I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.”
–Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
=>What is it about management? I work for myself and even MY boss
is an idiot.
=>What do Martin Luther King Jr., George Washington, and Abe
Lincoln all have in common? They were all born on holidays
=>I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to
it.
=>Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and
I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”
=>My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
=>Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home
insect-proof and air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.
=>How do you drive an accountant completely
insane? Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him
and fold up a road map the wrong way.
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Filed under: public speaking
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